Feeling of the Moment: Someone to love your memory away...

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Somethings with me never change. As much as I like myself, there is still a large part of me that wonders if there is something wrong with me, deep down inside I know though that you don't choose who you love, its something that happens.

Sometimes I wish that I never felt the way I do about you, but later I realize I wouldnt change it for the world. While it kills me inside, it's changed me...and change is always good.

"I want you but I'm not giving in this time"

Feeling of the Moment: Life's what you make it...

I'm back from upstate. It was a good time. Worked today and Eileen finished putting the purple coat of paint up. Sometime next week we'll start sponging the grey on the walls and then we'll be putting up the border. It looks pretty so far. I'm so tired these days.

Things are not great at work and if I get a position somewhere else I'll be leaving. He's hurtful and I cant handle being around him anymore. He's nasty to me. I hate it.

Feeling of the Moment: You Get Me

~You get me When nobody understands.... You come and take the chance, baby You get me.... You look inside my wild mind Never knowing what you'll find And still you want me all the time Yeah, you do .... Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine In the pouring rain.... Some people think I'm crazy But you say it's okay.... You've seen my secret garden Where all of my flowers grow .....In my imagination Anything goes ~ Michelle Branch

Feeling of the Moment: On My Own....

Day by day Im trying to find a little more of myself. Sometimes still, even at age 21 (I say that like I'm an old woman, I know i'm not) I still feel like a little girl. I know I shouldn't be affected by the words of others but I sometimes still am. I know its wrong and words like that dont matter but Im still not secure in feeling that way.

I've sticking up for myself more. I'm not letting the words or actions affect me. I'm letting them know that I dont want or need that in my life. I only need people who care about me and want to know me close to me.

my best advice for you all....smile more...it helps things =)

Feeling of the Moment: There are time I lose my worried mind...

This week starts the job hunt, I almost dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

Florida definitely relaxed me. Disney was cool...Getting tan was nice. And I realized how much I miss him. And it was cool to hear he missed me to. He really is one of my friends I feel really connected to.

I need to register for school.

Feeling of the Moment: the worst feeling in the world is not being sure how you feel

I’ll admit I’m jealous. Over the past few years, I’ve watched all my friends fall in love and I’ve watched a lot of friends get married. It’s been hard to watch that. I’ve always wanted it more than them. When I was a little girl I had two dreams a. to get married and b. to have children someday and the ones who never cared are achieving what I have always wanted. I’ve never fallen in love with someone who fell in love with me too. And falling in love has only happened once for me and I still feel like I’m falling every time I see him. That’s hard for me because I know on every level, he’ll never love me the way I want him too.

I’ll never regret knowing Jason. It was what it was and it was nice to waste sometime with someone. I just wish that things had been different. That maybe for just a moment he actually cared for me. But, you don’t always get what you want in life.

I realize I’m only 21 years old. But that doesn’t make me hold anymore hope for the future. What’s going change in a year? Am I always going feel like such a little girl?

ill be in florida from July 16th through 26th ….try not to miss me too much!

Feeling of the Moment: Smile...

things are still good. I cant believe ill be in florida in two weeks. It should be totally awesome. im really looking foward to just relaxing and having fun =) I hoping that it will change the way Im feeling to an even better feeling.

Ill be missing ya!

Feeling of the Moment: Nothing heals me like you do...

I can't believe how much my life has changed in three years. Its amazing to realize who i was back then. I was so naive only seeing the good in people. how much my heart hurt 3 years ago around this time. I cant believe it was that long ago that i met DC. But im greatful I met him because I would never have met Kevin. And even tho Kevin isnt as close to me as I'd like him to be, hes still this good part of my life. Hes so much of the reason why i am who i am today. Not that he made me be that way, he just reminded me of what an awesome person I am. I love him for being my friend when I needed one especially when I wasnt the best person to know =)

Feeling of the Moment: Somewhere over the rainbow

I guess that was kinda a flake out on my part. Sometimes I just dont understand things in my life. I have a huge sense of failure when it comes to him. Why was I never enough? I know in my head that it was nothing I did or didnt do....it was him. So Ill be happy for him, if thats what i need to do to forgive and forget.

Florida in 7/02 =)

Feeling of the Moment: Take all your big plans and break them....

So Ive been having issues with tripod, but Ive figured out a way around it. so Im back.

Im tired, Im cranky, but as you all very well know, life does go on. Im still trying to figure things out, like how I fit with you, Im not sure I do.

Feeling of the Moment: Was it just for the sake of sin that you became my friend and left me dangling there to blow in the wind Well I'll be damned if this ever happens again.....

I can't lie to you, myself or anyone else for that matter. I do miss you. But part of me hates you too. And part of me cant help but hate myself for whats happened. I was the one who listened to you and believed you when you said you thought i was this awesome person and i believed you those months ago when you said you didnt want to lose me. I never deserved to have this happen. You make me wonder if Im being punished for something in life?

Do you ever think of me? do you even care? did u ever?

Feeling of the Moment: I'm a hazard to myself.....

I'm sick again. Is that any shocker? I dont think since November there has been a month thats been completely healthy. Hopefully this round wont be so bad, but who knows right? Work is the usual bullshit. I really wish they all can get there act together. They amaze me sometimes. Next week with 3 people away it should be a lot of fun. maybe I should bring pillow pillow with me and sleep there =)

Feeling of the Moment: Forget me not...

you know who you are. If you need things to be this way, then fine walk down that road. But I like myself too much to chase you anymore.

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